Every October, candles are lit across the UK for Baby Loss Awareness Week — a week to remember babies who’ve died and to stand alongside the families who live every day with that loss.
It’s not an easy subject to talk about. In fact, it’s one of the hardest.
But that’s exactly why it matters that we do talk about it.
When someone loses a baby — whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or shortly after birth — they can feel very alone. Friends and family feel heartbroken for you, but they don’t always know what to say. Or they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing.
But not talking about it doesn’t make it hurt less. It just makes the parents feel even more alone.
So this week is about breaking that silence — gently, respectfully, and truthfully.
It’s about making space for the stories, the grief, and the love that never goes away.
There’s no “moving on” from losing a baby.
There’s adapting, surviving, remembering. There’s learning to live with a love that has nowhere to go.
For some, it’s a fresh wound. For others, it’s been decades — but anniversaries, due dates, and the smallest reminders can still catch you off-guard.
That’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of love.
Grief changes you, but it doesn’t have to be the only thing that defines you.
Over time — and with support — many people find that life begins to grow around their loss.
It might be in the laughter of other children, the beauty of ordinary days, or in the quiet pride of doing something meaningful in memory of the baby they loved.
Some people channel their pain into purpose. Lucy Biggs, for example, became a celebrant after losing her baby — determined to help other families talk more openly about death, love, and the importance of saying goodbye well.
As Lucy says, “I wanted to make something good come from something so devastating. Helping other families through their hardest days feels like a way of honouring my baby.”
You don’t have to start a new career or change the world — but finding small ways to remember, give back, or simply enjoy what life still offers can be deeply healing.
Each year, people around the world take part in the Wave of Light on 15th October at 7pm — lighting candles to remember every baby gone too soon. It’s a simple, beautiful way to connect, wherever you are.
Whether you light a candle at home, in a garden, or at a community event, you’ll be part of something quietly powerful — thousands of little flames, each representing a tiny life that mattered.
Some families have a funeral or a private ceremony; others create their own quiet rituals at home.
There is no right or wrong.
What matters is marking that life — however brief — in a way that feels meaningful.
That might mean naming the baby aloud, planting a tree, writing a letter, or simply taking a moment to breathe and remember.
If you ever need help planning a small, sensitive ceremony, your local funeral celebrant can guide you. They’re used to helping families create something gentle, personal, and full of love.
You don’t have to go through this alone.
If you or someone you love is grieving a baby, there are brilliant organisations that can help:
If this week feels painful, know that you are not alone.
If you want to talk, talk. If you don’t, that’s okay too.
If you want to light a candle, cry, or shout at the universe — all of that is normal.
This week isn’t just about loss. It’s about love, remembrance, and the courage to keep living.
Because life doesn’t stop — it slowly grows around your loss, and sometimes, in the most unexpected ways, love finds a way to bloom again.
With much love
Kate & Kate
