The Playlist for Your Own Funeral (Because Silence Is Awkward)
We all know music makes a moment. It’s why weddings have walk-in songs, why films have soundtracks, and why football fans belt out anthems on the terraces. So why on earth do so many funerals end up with the same two or three hymns on a loop?
(Answer: because no one’s talked about it, and then they play it safe with All Things Bright and Beautiful.)
Your funeral deserves better than a half-hearted Abide With Me — which, by the way, everyone mumbles their way through as they’re uncomfortable singing hymns they haven’t touched since school assembly days.
Why music matters
Music sets the tone. It can make people cry, laugh, or even dance. It tells your story in a way words sometimes can’t. And it’s often the thing people remember most.
My Way is, of course, a popular anthem — it sums up many people’s approach to life. Ditto Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, which reliably sends everyone out smiling.
But music is personal. It evokes different things for different people. That’s why it’s a conversation worth having ahead of time — whether you want to get it right for your person, or you want your people to get it right for you.
When Kate T’s mum died, it was imperative her kids (all pop-generation types) had spoken to her beforehand. She was a huge fan of classical music and opera, so her funeral included one German hymn and one opera aria. It wasn’t their natural choice, but it was hers — and they felt they’d done her proud.
But what would you choose?
It’s worth thinking about, because if you don’t, someone else will. And while your family might know you loved Elton John, they might not know whether you’d want Rocket Man or I’m Still Standing.
Picking your own funeral playlist is a gift to the people left behind. It gives them permission to feel — whether that’s sobbing through Adele or tapping their toes to The Beatles.
And it doesn’t always have to be songs. Kate D once had a keen birdwatcher’s funeral where, during the reflection, everyone just listened to a soundtrack of birdsong. It was moving, peaceful, and completely apt. Kate T also worked with a Star Trek fan who had the sound of the transporter play as the curtains closed — perfect.
How to start your list
- Think about songs that really mean something to you.
- Consider one for the start, one for the middle, and one for the end. (You can have more or fewer, but that’s the general rule of thumb.)
- Don’t be afraid to mix funny and serious. Life’s like that, so why shouldn’t your funeral be?
- And usually, end with the most upbeat piece.
Plan the whole picture
Of course, music’s just one piece of the puzzle. There are readings, rituals, coffins, venues — a whole bunch of choices most people don’t realise they have.
That’s why we created our Plan Your Own Funeral course. It walks you through everything step by step, so you don’t just have a killer playlist — you’ve got a whole send-off sorted.
